The Ego Defined

I have struggled with this as I've started down the "spiritual" path a few years ago. Hearing about the ego wants, ego desires, how they are not who we are and all of that. Most of my spiritual friends "lovingly detest" their egos, and don't own it as part of themselves. It's almost gotten to be embarrassing, and again - something to be shamed.

Then there's the talk of the healthy ego by the intellectuals - this back and forth thing that no one really seems to understand.

It really confused me.

Certainly it serves some purpose, or it wouldn't be here, right? Somehow making my ego my enemy didn't seem right. However, I didn't know what to do with it. Since then I've been trying to find some kind of an answer that fit.

A few days ago, I found myself in another breakthrough state, down very low and feeling in crisis. I've been thought this enough times that I know something is coming - it still doesn't make the pain suck any less - but I know there's purpose in it and it'll come to me eventually. This belief and knowing I think is why I tend to not have to wallow in the pain for too long before coming out of it with some kind of new realization about life, myself, the world - like I've peeled back yet another layer and I'm getting deeper into these parts of myself that I've never seen, and learning to love and accept myself more every day.

In the midst of this last crisis, I watched "The Shadow Effect", Debbie Ford's fabulous movie for the 4th time, and crying hysterically all the way through. I ended up ordering her new book "the 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse", not really knowing much about it but feeling called to read it.

I'm on page 40, and I know exactly why this book is in my hands right now. It's truly amazing. There's so many wonderful things she says in this rich and juicy 40 pages, but I wanted to share one excerpt that she wrote about the ego. This completely makes sense to me, unlike any definition that I've ever heard:

"Your ego's job is to create an outer shell so that you can know yourself as a unique, individual expression. Your ego is your unique human expression. But if you are not aware of the workings of the ego, it will take over your entire consciousness like a cancerous tumor. When you remain blindly rooted inside your ego structure, your connection to your higher power is clouded over. It still exists, but the channel throughout which you can experience it becomes blocked by the confines of your ego's wall, the constrictions of your ego's grasp.

In other words, it is the outer persona, the shell of your human ego, that blinds you from seeing this very resource hidden within.

When you are completely identified with the shell of your individual self, your ego, you are blind to this divine state of consciousness, this light that is sometimes called God. This is one of life's great paradoxes, because to be a human being is to have an outer shell, an ego presence. You need your ego's persona to distinguish yourself from others. It's only when you fail to recognize that your outer shell is just one aspect of who you are that you shut the door on God's light."
From Debbie Ford's book: The 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse

So this makes sense.

On another note, I've seen that over and over someone will judge their very desires as "desires of the ego", and not follow them because the desires may include money or fame or something. I don't feel this way personally.

I believe that within these desires is a desire for evolution and growth. If someone has a desire to be a famous actor, and judges this as a "ego desire" - they may be missing out on the greatest growth opportunity of their lives. That very journey will cause you to discover strength, power, vulnerability, courage, etc. You'll have to love and accept yourself more, come out of your comfort zone - all of it.

Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between the desires of the ego and the desire of the soul. I say, if it feels good and doesn't hurt anyone - then it's your soul for sure. Money and fame can be used for amazing things in the world - so there's no need to deem these things as "egoic". Ultimately, it's learning to co-exist with our ego self and our higher self, seeing them both as a valuable part of who we are.

Do with this what you will. Have a wonderful day - love yourselves and each other.